"It takes some fears to make you trust. It takes those tears to make it rust. It takes the dust to have it polished." - Jason Mraz

"That night we talked about life, about our times together.
Maybe we weren't the same two kids we had once been.
But some things never change.
Some things last.
And even though I didn't know what was going to happen to us,
or where we were going...
I just knew I couldn't let [him] out of my life."
- Wonder Years

Today is one of my favorite days of the year. Nothing actually happens on this date, but the significance behind the date makes it oh so special for me. Around this time every year, I get to reassess everything and realize how lucky I have been.

Three years ago, my best friend and I were having a lot of complications in our relationship. We were never on the same page and we rarely talked. When we did talk, we would always fight and make up, only to have the same thing happen again the next month. After a few months of this frustrating never-ending cycle, we ended up having to take a "break" from each other. I know this sounds weird, because what kind of friends take breaks from each other? Well, we did, and we went almost a whole month of no communication. That month was a difficult time in my life; there wasn't anyone who I could really turn to, because the only person that I would turn to was the one who initiated this separation. I went on day after day, wondering when I was going to get my best friend back, and it was especially hard when we had some of the same classes together.

However, three years ago on this date, my best friend simply said "I'm sorry for everything", and those four words ended up changing my world around. After weeks of not talking, we finally teared down the walls that kept us apart for so long. We ended up talking for hours about our relationship. It was one of the most heartfelt conversations I have ever had with another person, and I turned out to be the first person my best friend has ever said "I love you" to and actually meant it.

"And it takes no time to fall in love,
But it takes you years to know what love is.
It takes some fears to make you trust.
It takes those tears to make it rust.
It takes the dust to have it polished.
Life is wonderful."
- Jason Mraz

Ever since then, we both have worked really hard to maintain the strong bond that we have together. Sure, we have fallen down the wrong path a couple of times after this but we never forgot about that conversation and that kept us together. That is why every February 22nd after that, I look back and think about all the wonderful memories that we have created since then. The big events included Disney World, concerts, and New York City, and the little moments made it what it's worth. Taking night trips to Dairy Queen, cheering on each other at our sporting events, random hang out sessions, sharing new music, school events, etc. But the one moment I hold most dear was being able to walk with my best friend at graduation. Having my best friend there with me at the biggest milestone of my life to date, after putting up with me through the past three years and sticking by all my decisions, regardless of whether they were good or bad, was so amazing.

"Well I'll never be something I'm not.
Please don't throw away what we've got.
'Cause we've been together for way too long,
I was playing around but I'm coming home.
You know that I love you.
There's no one above you.
I said it the last time, but this is the last time.
Don't make me over, 'cause I can be faithful.
You're my number one."
- John Legend

"At the end of the day, when it comes down to it,

"And even though we all can still do more, there's so much to be thankful for" - Josh Groban

The countdown officially begins, since there are only 7 days left until Thanksgiving break starts, and only 9 days until the holiday! I thought this week was going to go by so slowly (and maybe it's too early to tell) but it's going by pretty quickly in my opinion. I have no more exams to study for and one 4-page paper to write until break, so I am very relieved!

Since it is Thanksgiving season and all, I am thankful for many things:

[Family]
I am thankful for having two wonderful parents, who always put their children's needs in front of themselves. I can be a (spoiled) brat sometimes, but they always make sure I am content and will do whatever it takes. I'm thankful for their ridiculous hard work, dedication, and love... not to mention their willingness to pick me up from school at any time. I am also thankful for my brother (although we act like we hate each other half the time) and I am so proud of how smart he is.

[Abington friends]
Regardless of the distances between us, I know I can always turn to them for a good laugh or time. They all have helped shape me into the person I am today and I would be nothing without them!


[Salve friends]
They have helped me feel comfortable here when I wasn't so sure at first. I love our Monday television nights and the fact that we can laugh at each other for no reason at all.

[PCC friends]

They have given me the best laughs, the best times, and the best memories. I am relieved that a lot of us have managed to stay in touch over the years, and I will always believe that Abington & Middleboro were destined to be one town!

[co-workers]

They are 50 of the craziest, funniest, and friendliest people I have ever met. I had the best summer, thanks to them, and I always look forward to our reunions!

[#1 best friend]

I am thankful for his compassion, kindness, thoughtfulness, and especially for the way he believes in me.

[Panera Bread (not kidding)]
I am thankful for their You-Pick-Two deals (half broccoli cheddar soup, half caesar salad), $0.99 Chocolate Chipper cookie, Cinnamon Crunch bagels, and lemonade. Whether I'm at school or home, I am thankful that there is always at least one Panera that is 15 minutes or less away.

[AHS Track & Field]
I am thankful for the dedication and self-esteem that I gained from being a runner. I am actually thankful that I was forced to be a 400m runner last year, because it pushed me to believe in myself (thank you, Mr. Lanner & Mr. Duggan).

[Jason Mraz & John Mayer (and music in general)]
When the rest of the world fails me, these are the two men that I turn to. I am thankful for the "We Sing. We Dance. We Steal Things" and "Continuum" albums. I am thankful that they are two absolute geniuses. I am thankful for music for being a wonderful foundation for friendship. I am thankful that I am a musician.

[Salve Regina University]
I am thankful for Salve Regina for providing me with a college education. I am thankful for their overwhelming generosity in financial aid, and I am thankful (and proud) that I am a first-generation college student.

[James Lafferty & One Tree Hill]
You know where to find me on a Monday night at 8PM... parked in front of the television, drooling over the hotness that is James Lafferty/Nathan Scott. I am an avid fan of One Tree Hill (I've seen every episode aired since the pilot episode in September 2004!) and I like to think I can vicariously live through their more-than-necessary drama...

And of course, I am thankful for good health and all that jazz, but here are a few other miscellaneous things...

- Hooded sweatshirts
- Jim & Pam's romance on The Office
- Pandora Radio
- the shuffle option on iTunes
- FML.com
- Disney movies
- New England weather (most of the time)
- LIFE!! <3

"Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will never, ever have enough" - Oprah Winfrey

"It's October again. Leaves are coming down. One more year's come and gone" - Bethany Joy Lenz

It's the beginning of another week here and I'm very excited because October is literally around the corner! October is my other favorite month (besides April) because there are so many birthdays (including mine -- the 7th!) and I always have things to look forward to. The most important day in the month is always the 15th = my best friend's birthday. Usually I start thinking of what I'm going to get him weeks in advance, but October seriously crept up on me. I am not prepared at all and I only have two weeks left... oh boy.

October is going to start off pretty well though... because the Boston Celtics are at Salve the entire week for training camp! I love the Celtics so much and I was very happy to hear that they were going to be on campus. The best part was the fact that students would have an opportunity to attend their scrimmage at the end of the week... but of course, there's a catch. We had to submit our names into the lottery system, and 175 people would randomly be picked. I WAS ONE OF THEM! I absolutely cannot wait. It's going to make this week go by so much faster!

This previous weekend was Salve's annual Fall Festival, the time when parents & alumni come visit the campus. My family and I didn't participate in these activities (in fact I went home), but I still had a wonderful weekend anyway :)

On Friday night, RER and I were reunited with the best girls ever. I was so happy to see them, but the best moment of the night was seeing their reactions when they saw us. Most of them did not know that we were coming up to see them, so they were genuinely surprised and grateful, I think. The expressions on their faces made me feel thankful that I was able to leave a lasting impression on them, while they have made their own lasting impressions on me. Those girls are truly some of the world's best people, and I am already looking forward to the next time that I can see all of them at once.

I woke up early on Saturday morning so my family and I could drive back down to Newport. We attended an awards ceremony on campus, where I got to see everyone who was receiving a scholarship or an award. My favorite part was seeing the alumni receive their awards. So many people have graduated from Salve and went on to make a name for themselves. Their stories were so inspiring that it put me in the mood to set big goals for myself. I am not a big "long-term goal-making" person, but there's no better time to start doing that than now. After the awards ceremony, my family and I went to downtown Newport where we spent most of the day. We haven't been to Newport in three or four years so my parents really enjoyed themselves. That made me really happy. We returned to Massachusetts to go out to dinner for my brother's & dad's birthday at Bugaboo Creek (my brother's choice). Afterwards, my brother hung out with a lot of his PCC friends while I just relaxed at home.

While at home, I ended up video chatting with a few people and somewhere in the midst of the conversation, a certain someone in the background said "Tell her I love her. TELL HER I LOVE HER". That brought me back on memory lane to one of the last times that I had heard that... It's funny how the only times I get to hear that is when he's intoxicated. He also told me that he can't come down for the Celtics scrimmage with me this weekend, even though he went out the other night. I don't think I'll ever understand him during times like these, but I think it's time I stop trying to understand... for both of our sakes.

Despite all the rain on Sunday, my mom and I spent some quality time together and went shopping. I hardly bought anything for myself but I was still glad that I got to go. Then RER drove me back to school that night.

Anyway, elections for on-campus and off-campus senators are next week, and I am SO nervous. I don't think that I am going to be completely devastated if I lose, but I will certainly be disappointed. I really want to be involved and I know this is the perfect thing for me. I just hope everyone else knows that too!

:)

"When I am alone, when I am thrown off the weight of this crazy world... that's when I miss you, you who are my home" - Alexi Murdoch

So I'm sitting in the McKillop Library right now, which is probably one of my favorite places on campus. I really think I might live here for the next eight months or so. It is so quiet and so peaceful... well, just like a library should be.

I'm in the middle of my second week as a Salve freshman and it's going alright. I'm enjoying my classes, especially my Intro to the Justice Process class. My major is Administration of Justice, so of course I would like it. I think the law enforcement and all the laws are so interesting. There's also so much to learn too, so I think it will be a good semester. I just need to stop procrastinating and get my work done... I don't really know when that will happen though...

However, quite frankly, I'm homesick as ever. It's weird, because I wasn't home all summer, and now I decide to be homesick. It makes no sense to me, but nonetheless, I'm homesick. I miss my parents and I miss my brother. Today is my brother's sixteenth birthday and it kills me that I'm not home to celebrate it... (Happy birthday, Nam-Du! I love you!)

I miss my best friend too... Before I left, he gave me a letter and told me not to read it until I was all settled in my dorm room. Well, he doesn't know this, but I broke that rule and I read it before I went to sleep that night. The front of the letter has a big, yellow smiley face on it. This is an inside joke with us that dates back to 2004. I used to leave little notes in his locker when we were in junior high, and he would make me cards to give back to me. However, he isn't the most artistic person on the planet, so he would only draw smiley faces, which lead to smiley faces drawn on Paint. Every single year, I've received a card on my birthday with the exact same smiley face on it, and of course it always brings a smile to my face. His cards are always so intricate and thoughtful. On my seventeenth birthday, he included a picture of us in our "childhood". In reality, he had taken a picture of him when he was little and a picture of me when I was little and edited both onto a picture of a playground. On last year's card, he edited a picture of Jason Mraz -- half-naked, might I add -- saying happy birthday to me, because he had gotten me Jason Mraz tickets as a present. Anyway, this letter has to be the most heartfelt letter I have ever received. To put into words how thoughtful it was is quite impossible, but it does give me the sense of hope that I needed, to believe that our friendship will endure all the changes that have already come, and those that will come in the near future.

"There are 6,470,818,671 people in the world. Some are running scared. Some are coming home. Some tell lies to make it through the day, others are just now facing the truth. Some are evil men at war with good, and some are good struggling with evil. 6 billion people in the world, 6 billion souls, and sometimes, all you need is one." - One Tree Hill

"And as we lie here and let the world fade away, the sunrise tries to end it while we try to stay" - Joshua Radin

TWO days until I leave for Salve! I'm so excited, but the nerves are definitely starting to kick in. I haven't even packed yet... that may be a problem, but oh well. I'll make it work.

Today, I'm going out for ice cream with some of my PCC loves before I leave, and I'm very excited to see them. I have been so lucky to have had the opportunity to work at PCC this summer. Project Contemporary Competitiveness is a six-week overnight advanced studies program for incoming freshmen and sophomores from southeastern Massachusetts. I attended the program as a student in the summers of 2005 and 2006. I worked as a desk proctor in 2008, and I was a proctor in 2009. For six weeks, I listened to their stories, played childhood games with them on the REC field, witnessed their talents on stage and in class, danced to "Single Ladies" with them every Thursday night, and by the end of the program, I sobbed with five hundred people. It was so difficult for me to say goodbye to those people who I got to know over the six weeks, students and co-workers alike. The students were always so enthusiastic and a lot of them didn't have a care in the world (it made me miss the times when I didn't know any better and just wanted to have fun). I looked forward to every day that I got to spend with them. My co-workers, on the other hand, are the craziest, most entertaining people I have ever met. Being one of the two youngest staff members, they definitely taught me a lot about being a leader and an authorative figure. I gained more confidence this summer, not only to discipline children, but to have fun also. I got to go on stage and teach kids how to pee ("Oh my, oh me, this is how you pee!") and I got "caked" in the face by my boss. It honestly has been the best experience I've ever had. PCC taught me so much about myself while I was there as a student and I only wanted to give back to the program that gave me so much. There is no better feeling than hearing a kid tell you that you made an impact on them and that their summer would not have been the same without you. That, I believe, is so rewarding, and I only hope that I can experience this same feeling again for many summers to come.

Speaking of goodbyes earlier, I have to say goodbye to my very best friend tomorrow night. My best friend and I share the most complicated, confusing relationship out of any two best friends, but it's also one of the best relationships I have. He and I have been friends for six years now and physically, we are complete opposites. He's tall, I'm short, He has light brown hair and blue eyes, while I have black hair and dark brown eyes. We look so funny when we're together, but I love it. Disregarding our physical features, however, we are the same person. It only takes one look to know what the other is thinking. We think the same and we feel the same. We have the same fears and dislike the same people (as bad as that is). We are connected through music, and that connection is unbreakable. It's definitely going to be difficult for me to be away from him this year, considering everything that we have been through: the passing of his father, my father's temporary lay-off, breakups, makeups, our wonderful trip to Disney World, concerts, etc. We have had so many conflicts and times of struggle between the two of us (one so difficult that it almost ended our friendship completely). But I am so grateful, still to this day, that we were able to resolve our differences over and over again to be the best friends that we are today.

I wish I could be there to see his progress in school and with the college application process. I wish I could cheer him on in his sporting events, to see him lead as president of the NHS, and to see if he will get accepted into his dream school, Boston College. I am constantly proud of him and I want to see all that he can do this year while I'm gone. It's going to be hard to say goodbye to him, because a part of me feels like our friendship is ending... but I know we'll make it through this year. We have to.

But anyway, here are some pictures.

My favorite student & me at semi

My two girls and me on the last day

My co-workers on 5Shea

RER & I at the School Spirit dance
(my Salve Regina best friend!)