Dear Calculus,

I gave up on you a long time ago, but you didn't give up on me. I wish you would.

I never liked you in high school and yet, you insisted on getting to know me my junior year (okay, maybe I did like you for that ONE day that I received my first and last A+ on a quiz, but other than that, it was a strictly hate-hate relationship!). I never had any love for you, despite of what you thought. After an awful, torturous year together, I was extremely relieved when we broke up because I thought I would never have to see you again.

However, you clearly didn't get the message because you have been trying this entire spring semester to rekindle the flame and you have made me a very unhappy, bitter girl. Now, your shenanigans have gotten me into trouble... again. I am so thankful we only have eleven more days together. I am not exaggerating when I am saying that I will be the happiest girl alive once I am done with you on Thursday, May 6 at approximately 10 AM. That's right. You heard me correctly. I will be done with you forever.

But until then, you make me want to jump off the Cliff Walk... or do this. It's less drastic, I think.

Sincerely,
Girl whose life and GPA you have ruined.